Question: My child is really “high maintenance”. He has horrible tantrums and can be very aggressive. He is very intelligent, and does well in school, but at home he is a monster. Everyone tells us that it is our fault. They think we should discipline him better, but when we try to, he doesn’t respond. He doesn’t care if we punish him or take things away. And he lets us know.
We are at our wits’ end. It is especially hard because no one believes there is something wrong with him. They just think there is something wrong with us. His classroom teachers, our relatives, even his pediatrician look at us like we are the problem. We are afraid to take him to see someone who will tell us the same thing.
Anne Fenton, MD: There are children with significant symptoms which only show up at home, but not outside of the home, until much later on. We think that the structure of the school day or the public eye offers some buffer to help the child control the behaviors outside of the home, only to have a meltdown at home. It is parents of such children who have the hardest time getting help, just as you describe. Unfortunately, by the time others see the symptoms, it is too late for the early intervention so important for the child’s normal development.
Child psychiatrists are familiar with stories like yours. We understand that you know your child, and that you have already tried all the standard parenting approaches, read the self help books, and looked for answers wherever you could. A child psychiatrist will take your concerns seriously, and offer the help your child needs.