Question: I have a male primary care who is treating my depression. My husband, who sees a psychiatrist, thinks I should see one, too, since they know more about all the conditions and medications and all that. Is he right, or am I ok to keep seeing my primary care? I think I’m doing fine, but I guess my husband thinks I could do better.

Anne Fenton, MD: My guess is that you wonder if your husband may be right. If that is the case, there is no harm in consulting a mental health professional. I am sure your primary care would have no problem referring you to someone for a second opinion. Our job in the medical profession is to help people in the best way possible. We know this often includes referring our patients to people whose opinion and expertise may prove to be more helpful to our patients.

Question: For the first time in his life, my husband, who has always made really good money, and has had high power positions, is out of a job. He sits at home at the computer all day and doesn’t get anywhere. He has really changed. He’s mad all the time. I wouldn’t be so worried if this hadn’t been going on for so long. It’s been two years now. How can I get him to go see someone?

Anne Fenton, MD: This is unfortunately becoming more of a problem with the decline of the economy. You might try the straightforward approach. Let your husband know that you are worried about him. You understand how stressful and frustrating it must be to have difficulty providing for his family and to be at home all the time. In fact, for someone who has always been active, and whose identity is largely tied into his profession, this kind of change can trigger a depression. There may be other factors at play as well, such as his thinking you see him as a failure, which may result in his trying to avoid you. If you let him know you are aware of these things, he may be more receptive to seeing someone.

Question: I would like to find a therapist or psychiatrist who understands the religious lifestyle and respects that. I would like to talk to someone about some issues.    But whenever I have tried in the past, I can tell that people think there is something wrong with me and tries to talk me out of being religious.  My friend sees a therapist who is a Christan, but I really want to talk to someone about medication, not just counseling.

Anne Fenton, MD: There are professionals who share your beliefs, and understand that spiritual health is at least as important for sound mental health as are social, emotional, and physical health. For a list of such like minded counselors and doctors in your area, consult your local religious organization. You are absolutely right that tampering with one’s religious beliefs can be as seriously detrimental to one’s health as religious sensitivity, awareness, and belief can be of incomparable therapeutic benefit.

Question: I’ve worked hard all my life to give my kids everything they could ever want, maybe because I grew up poor. I didn’t finish school, but I wanted my kids to go to college. Now my oldest son is a junior in high school. He is very smart, but he doesn’t really care about school, and even if I take things away like his game boy and his Wii, it doesn’t matter. I want him to have a good job some day, but at the rate he is going, it doesn’t look like he is going to.

Anne Fenton, MD: You are describing a problem of motivation. Unfortunately, many kids today have so many toy that they don’t care about any of them. Appreciation seems to be a thing of the past. It sounds to me like your son may not need a therapist as much as a father to help him appreciate the value of all those material things, not by giving him more and more, but by taking all of it away and starting from scratch. Think how you developed the kind of motivation that enabled you to afford all those things for your kids. It wasn’t by having more than you needed, but needing more than you had.